Dating can be nerve-wracking for anyone, but it’s particularly difficult for people with social anxiety. These individuals worry about how their date will react to them, whether they’ll have enough to talk about and even if they’ll have an awkward silence.
Therapists like Ginger Poag and Asta Klimaite have recommended disclosing anxiety to dates early on. This helps to reduce stress, and can lead to a more open conversation about mental health issues.
1. Know Yourself
Social anxiety can make it difficult to connect. A date can feel like an intense interview, with you wondering if your date will approve of you or shut down the connection. This tension and insecurity can lead to nervous behavior or avoidance of social situations, including dating.
If you’re dating someone with social anxiety, it’s important to know your own triggers and how to manage them. You also need to be willing to talk about your anxieties with your partner. It’s usually better to bring it up sooner rather than later. If you avoid telling your partner about your social anxiety, they may assume that you don’t want to spend time together or become close. This can negatively impact the relationship in the long run.
2. Know Your Limitations
When someone has social anxiety, even the most intimate interactions can feel uncomfortable. When this is combined with the feeling that everyone else is judging you, it can be impossible to form a deep connection.
One of the best ways to overcome this is to know your limitations. This includes identifying your personal triggers and the things that cause distress, such as crowded places or public transportation. It also means knowing when to seek professional treatment support.
You should also let your date know the kind of situations that make you feel anxious. They can then choose locations or activities that do not add to your stress levels. It can help if they also avoid people who are excessively judgmental, as this can be particularly hard for people with social anxiety to deal with.
3. Be Honest With Your Partner
Social anxiety can make it difficult for couples to talk openly about things like their feelings and personal boundaries. However, it is essential to practice honesty in order to foster a healthy relationship. Harsh language such as blaming and contempt are not conducive to a loving, healthy relationship.
Rather than telling someone with anxiety to calm down or that they don’t need to be anxious, consider giving them space to express their emotions. Using a supportive tone and expressing compassion can help them overcome their fears.
Similarly, when your partner says they’re going to the library for a study session instead of attending an event you’ve both agreed to attend, be supportive. It may seem trivial, but to them it could be an important step in their recovery process.
4. Communicate Your Needs
While it’s important to respect your partner’s boundaries, you also need to let them know what you need. For example, if your date needs to be alone to calm down before a meal or you need to stay away from places that trigger social anxiety, it’s important to communicate that so they can accommodate.
Disclosing your anxieties to someone else isn’t always easy, but it can help you overcome them. It is possible to have a happy and healthy relationship even with social anxiety, but it takes time, honesty, and patience. If you need extra support, consider working with a mental health professional to find the right solutions for you. You can learn about the condition, get tools for anxiety relief, and get a better sense of your anxiety triggers with expert guidance.
5. Be Patient With Yourself
Men and women who struggle with social anxiety tend to feel that their every move is being scrutinized. This can make dates stressful. Even something as simple as eating out can become a major stressor. This is because the person suffering from social anxiety is concerned that their eating habits will cause their date or others to develop a negative opinion about them.
First dates are especially nerve wracking for those who suffer from social anxiety. This is because social anxiety is rooted in the fear of negative evaluation and a first date can certainly feel like an evaluative experience. This can also be a time where people worry about whether they will have enough to talk about, or even if they will be able to connect at all.