When it comes to moving in together, there are a lot of questions couples should ask before they make the leap. It’s not the easiest thing to have conversations about, but it’s vital for a healthy relationship.
Talking about how you think and feel about money, goals, and the future of your relationship can help you figure out if it’s worth it. So we asked some relationship experts what their number one question to ask your partner before moving in together is.
1. What are your expectations?
Whether you’re moving in together because you’re getting married or just want to start spending more time with your partner, there are a lot of questions to ask yourself and your partner before moving in. These insightful discussions can help you figure out if it’s the right time to make the leap into your future with one another.
The first question you should ask is what your expectations are for moving in together. It’s important to set clear expectations from the beginning so that you and your partner can work out any issues that come up during your time together.
This can include everything from how much time you’ll spend hanging out to what your ideal living space looks like. It also includes how you’ll manage household chores.
2. What are your fears?
Before moving in together, it’s a good idea to talk about your fears. That way, you can avoid letting them get the best of you and your partner in the long run.
Fears are an essential part of our survival instincts, but sometimes they can be irrational and stop us from achieving our full potential.
Whether your fears are based on reality or something you have learned, there is help at hand.
If you are fearful of heights, for example, your GP can prescribe a treatment plan that might include simple lifestyle changes and a visit to a therapist. Your therapist can also show you how to conquer your fears gradually. A therapist might start with a simple task, like a flight or a lift, and work on it until you feel comfortable.
3. What are your goals?
If you and your partner are serious about making your relationship work, it’s time to set some goals. Goals are a way for you to stay on track and get motivated.
They also allow you to have something to look forward to, which can be a big help when you’re feeling low and stressed about the future.
When you’re ready to talk about your goals, make sure they’re well thought out and that they align with what you want in the long run.
Short-term goals should be a combination of professional development and personal growth. These can be anything from learning a new programming language to becoming a lawyer.
4. How will we handle conflict?
Whether you’re in the middle of an argument or just chatting about how your new apartment is coming along, it can be difficult to remember that you and your partner come into this relationship with very different backgrounds.
It can be helpful to think about your conflict from the perspective of the other person and try to understand their point of view. This will help you resolve any issues that may arise more quickly than if you were trying to communicate from your own point of view.
You might also want to seek out a therapist or divorce support group to talk through your thoughts and feelings. These groups can provide a space where you can vent your anger and frustration in a healthy way and find solutions to the challenges that may be causing anxiety.
5. How do you see your future together?
Moving in together is a big deal, especially if you are in a long-term relationship. So it is important to discuss your expectations and fears, says Jessica Small, a marriage counselor at Growing Self Counseling & Coaching in Denver.
This discussion can help you understand your partner better, and ensure that they are comfortable with the move. It also helps you set up a foundation for your future together.